Depending on the extent of the guilt manipulation, this may cause serious damage to the relationship. This means they often instinctively understand and adapt to the love language of their partner and will work hard to give them love in the way they need. They're usually traditional and take their commitments very seriously. They are interested in security and peaceful living, and are willing and able to do their part towards acheiving these goals for themselves, their mates, and their families. It is generally more effective and more healthy to directly issue punishment when called for. They are usually excellents hosts and hostesses, and enjoy throwing parties and having a good time.
This type of individual is a typical extravert because they like to live life based on what is going on around them. They're likely to strongly desire that their mates share in their social experiences. ESFJs just need to make sure they take the time to ensure that they build relationships that allow them to satisfy their own needs and dreams, with partners who appreciate their care and generosity fully, and who reciprocate as well. Appreciation is the greatest gift that their mates can give them. ESFJs are also confident and really social, so they often find their partners in all different types of situations and social settings, from parties to blind dates. ESFJs appreciate a partner who notices their efforts to provide for their families, and commends them on a job well done. This need usually causes them to be quite social creatures, who enjoy attending parties, as well as throwing their own. With such a goal in mind, ESFJ personalities take each stage, from dating to everything thereafter, very seriously. Since they feel tremendous pressure in their lives to constantly "do their duty", they may sometimes turn their friendships into another task or responsibility. ESFJs like an organized life and want their partners to participate in a structured, scheduled lifestyle. Their ESFJ parents will create structured environments for the children, where their boundaries will be well-defined and known. This shared feeling function allows both parties to understand the criteria the other uses to make decisions, 1 and also to sense when their partner is upset and needs emotional support. The ESFJ love to be around people. This need of theirs is sometimes intensified to the point where they are very emotionally needy, and constantly "go fishing" for affirmation if it is not freely given. For an ESFJ, relationships bring on a highly desired opportunity to please and satisfy someone they genuinely care about. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. As a parent, this individual would be extremely committed to fulfilling their role to the best of their ability. They hate to witness or be part of an argument. This is serious business to them, and during the dating stage they will work hard to show they can meet the needs of their partner and make sure their partner can do the same for them. In this case, the ESFJ natural tendency is to make their children feel guilty about their behavior. Usually, however, they get a lot of enjoyment from their friendships, and give back a lot of affirming warmth. In relationships, the ESFJ is supportive, nurturing, and reliable. They have great conversation skills and often have a fun sense of humor. ESFJs need to make sure they have a good level of maturity and are in a healthy place within themselves before they go looking for a relationship. This is a common problem for most ESFJs, and can lead to severe burnout. ESFJs are factual in their communication, but generally uncomfortable with criticism and conflict, preferring instead to provide support and encouragement to others. They are extremely devoted to their children, and go to tremendous lengths to be sure they are provided for.
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